23...

23...

My, what a year. 11 days away from being half way through 23...and my, what I have learned. 

When I turned 23, I remember waking up with several texts and fun emojis on my screen, but before I read any of those sweet words, I remember opening up my notes and just taking a moment to give this year to the Lord. I wrote down all my worries, fears, anxieties, excitement, joy, unknowns, hearts' desires, wishes and worries. I remember praying about a teaching job. I remember praying about where I was going to live and how I was going to find a place. I remember praying about if, when and who I was going to date, and about my good friend who had just asked to take me on a date days before. I remember praying about my family and my summer and my little sister's first year of college. I remember praying about my brother and our family's strained relationship with him. I remember praying about the discipleship program I had just finished and all the processing I was still doing from the year of ministry. I remember praying for the unknowns that had so taken over my life at the time. I remember thinking that I didn't think I was ready to be 23...that it seemed older than 22...and the year ahead seemed daunting....

Well, 6 months later, the Lord has been gracious to me to answer those prayers, some in such clear provision and some in a hazy answer of waiting...some through a season of struggle and weariness and others through the epitome of joy and gratefulness. I have learned a lot in these last 6 months...

In those 6 months, I spent 2 months with my family being at home for the first time in over 5 years, I spent time applying, interviewing and finally accepted a teaching job five states away and moved 12 hours from home, I went on a date with one of my best friends and have been figuring out not only how to pursue each other, but also how to do it 600 miles apart...I have learned what it looks like to budget and pay bills and grocery shop and cook dinner. I have learned what it looks like to be so worn out from working that I fall asleep at 9 o'clock and I have learned what it looks like to naturally wake up at 7 o'clock on a Saturday. I have learned what it looks like to love a classroom full of students and how to discipline and show grace and display patience when you are so very weary. I have learned how to keep in contact with friends hundreds of miles away and the sweetness of quality time with kindred spirits. I have learned the importance of prayer and of being in God's Word and my love for hot tea that gets me through every morning. I have learned that I love creating a space and find so much joy in fixing something up. I have learned that I could antique shop all day on Saturdays and that nothing quite rejuvenates me like fresh air and sunshine. I have learned that I love breakfast, and that sometimes facetime dates can be almost as good as the real thing. I have learned that laundry and dishes often become last on the to do list and that is ok. I have learned that grading is a skill that I am not great at because I would rather every student get 100. I have learned that I love hugs and that I will easily keep a note and a picture forever. I have learned the joy that comes along with sponsoring a child and the sweetness of being able to help people and bless people with the gift of an income. I have learned that sometimes there's nothing like calling home after a long day, and there is something enchanting about the evening air. I have learned that I could sit outside all morning listening to the birds and lay outside all night looking at the stars. I have learned that saying yes can be good, but saying no can also be best. I have learned that I value quality time and that it is hard to be truly honest with myself. I have learned the benefit of hard conversations and the blessing that comes with honesty and trust. I have learned that goodbyes are hard and sometimes tears are good. I have learned that naps sometimes solve more than we know and that dependence on the Lord is something that can deepen every day. I have learned the importance of deep friendships and the incomparable foundation of faith that can last through mountains of change and seasons of hard transitions. I have learned the contentment of being where you know the Lord has placed you and the peace that comes in resting in his provision. I have learned that being 23 is full of life and lessons and laughter and tears and learning to pray and trust and love in a different way...

In this season of unsettledness, yet beginnings of new chapters, I am reminded of the many blessings and challenges that the Lord has given me and how grateful I am to have a faith that walks through both with such a steadiness. I am thankful for these past 6 months and grateful that the unknowns of this journey are so intricately known by a Savior who loves me deeply and has called me to be His. I am thanking him for the opportunities for faith that he continues to provide. Let's continue to do this thing, 23...I'm learning a lot.