I was never more surprised than when I was asked to speak at my Baccalaureate. My whole senior year I had heard my dad ask countless times, "Hey Tab, are you going to need to give a speech at graduation?! Because I have mine that I gave. It's timeless and I can get it for you if you need it." I repeatedly said, "Dad, I'm not going to give a speech." Only to hear the next week, "Hey! You sure you won't need that speech?" I had to smile, knowing I would have to call him and finally tell him I would be needing that speech of his.
I was asked to write a 4-5 minute speech that would be a reflection of my years at CAL and a sending off of the class of 2011. My perspective on Christian Academy was a bit different since I started there my sophomore year rather than starting in kindergarten.
That night I started praying, I had no idea what I was going to talk about. For about a whole week, I literally had nothing. I would sit down to write and I had no thoughts or starters, no lines or endings. I was getting a little nervous as I knew Baccalaureate was fast approaching.
The teacher helping me with my speech told me sometimes it helps to have a thread that you can work around - a certain object or idea that's present throughout the speech.
So I started thinking of ideas like crayons or markers, high lighters, construction paper or even colors. I had always liked office supplies. And although the ideas started out as a joke and made everyone laugh, there was a theme and it suddenly dawned on me.
A pencil.
You use a pencil in kindergarten, high school and even college. I had seen a giant pencil in the art room and asked the teacher if I could borrow it. With much help and support from my parents, family and a few teachers, my speech started coming together. Although it wasn't perfect, and I was still making changes an hour before the ceremony, I had gone over it as many times as possible and told myself I was as ready as I'll ever be. (I only wish I had remembered to pick the pencil up the first time I walked to the podium....) I said a prayer before I went up and asked the Lord to calm my nerves and for His light to shine through me as I gave my speech.
"I have always liked pencils - the smell of a freshly sharpened pencil, buying new pencils, going to Office Depot to look at pencils. But I hate it when you are in the middle of writing a paper or taking a math test, and all of the sudden your pencil just breaks. You look down…asking yourself, “What am I going to do now?” Knowing you can’t go on any further without re-sharpening that pencil.
That is exactly what happened when I walked into another Louisville high school my sophomore year. In my Spirit and heart, something wasn’t right. I told my mom, “I feel like I don’t belong here anymore.” But like that broken pencil, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to do or where I was going to go from there. My mom asked me where I thought I belonged, and in my heart, I felt like the Lord was leading me to CAL. I remember so vividly sitting in Mrs. Rafla’s office three days into sophomore year and her asking me why I wanted to come to CAL. I told her I had thought and prayed about it so much and wasn’t sure whether I should stay where I was and be a light, or come to CAL where I thought the Lord was leading me. She said something that I have never forgotten, she said, “Tabitha, sometimes the Lord puts us in certain situations and places where we are meant to be a light. But sometimes, He knows we need to be poured into and have our faith sharpened so we can be made stronger and be a light when we are called to be.”
That is exactly what CAL has been for me. For 3 years, I’ve been at a place where my faith has been nurtured and allowed to grow. I have kind of a unique perspective on CAL because I have attended a secular school, a parochial school and several small private schools. Coming here I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect, but I knew that I wanted to be in a place where the emphasis was on faith and prayer as a part of your daily life. My expectations were far exceeded when I saw 400 high school students gathered at 7a.m. on the Great Lawn to pray, when I saw dozens of students running out of the cafeteria to make it to the lunch Bible Study, and when I witnessed my fellow seniors miss 5th period, not for a senior meeting, but to kneel at the foot of the cross in tears. By attending Christian Academy, I have been sharpened not only as a person, but also as a disciple and follower of Christ.
Now back to this pencil. I have always loved pencils….and for that matter, color pencils, post it notes, high lighters, markers, crayons, etc etc etc…. In fact, the joke at my house was always “What should we get Tabitha for her birthday?” “Oh just get her a gift card to Office Depot.” As you might guess or may already know - I want to be a teacher. I used to get so excited at the start of school in the fall, because I would get to go buy new school supplies. In the movie You’ve Got Mail, Meg Ryan said, “Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.”
The funny thing is that we are like pencils in a way. There are many shapes, sizes, styles and colors, but the thing that remains the same about all of them is they all get worn down or even broken after use. So what do you do? They have to be re-sharpened, refilled or bought new. The same holds true for us.
Just like the lead in a pencil gets worn down, our spirit gets worn down from the struggles and trials of daily life. So how do we re-sharpen our spirit? My mom used to tell me how when she was a little girl and her pencil became dull she would take it to her daddy. He would reach in his pocket, take out his pocketknife and carefully re-sharpen her pencil. That is exactly what our Heavenly Father does for us. Sometimes He will personally sharpen and mold us with His hands, and sometimes he puts people in our lives who encourage us and help us grow more than we could imagine. As iron sharpens iron, so do our brothers and sisters in Christ sharpen us in our walk with the Lord.
Also, sometimes with the wear and tear of life, we start to feel empty. Just as our pencils run out of lead and need to be refilled, we too need to be replenished. Simply being in the Word of God and allowing it to draw us closer to Him will give us a deeper walk with the Lord. Romans 12 assures us that our minds will be transformed by this renewing.
Along our journeys, we may also find ourselves in a place where we are completely broken. Stopped in our tracks. Hopeless. But just like a broken pencil was once bought new, the same holds true for us. We were bought with a price far greater than we could ever imagine – Christ’s life, death and sacrifice. He makes us new creations – the old is gone the new has come. So whenever we feel we are broken or too worn out to be completely sharpened, all we need to do is go back to the beginning – back to the cross.
For many of us, Christian Academy has been the place where we have been sharpened, refilled and pointed toward the cross. The challenge now for each of us, as we leave the familiar halls of CAL, will be to find a new place that will not only sharpen our own faith, but allow us the opportunity to sharpen, refill and point others toward the cross.
I like to think of the graduating class of 2011 as a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils. So, no matter what kind of pencil you are, mechanical or wooden, colorful or charcoal, number 1 or number 2, .7 or .5 -- it’s time for us all to go make our mark on the world."
